Terrified doesn't even begin to describe how I felt 17 years ago today. I was 17 years old, lying on an operating table ready for Ian to be born. I remember hearing him cry, seeing him being lifted out feet first and tears running down my face. Then everything faded away and I woke up in ICU.
When I was finally able to hold him, I looked down at his perfectly round face and big blue eyes and I promised him that I would be the best mom and give him the best life that I possibly could.
Going back to high school to finish grade 12 a couple months after wards, I felt like the worst mom ever for leaving my baby every day. Trying to focus on math problems, science experiments and English essays was the last thing I wanted to do. But I did not want to be a high school dropout teenage mom so I pushed on. When final exams came in June I was beyond ecstatic and proud of myself. Then I had a wedding to prepare for.
I thought being a teenage mom was the hardest thing I had to do (and don't get me wrong, that was a difficult and dark time in my life.) But to be honest, raising a kind, respectful, hardworking, compassionate teenage son is one of the hardest things I've had to do.
The emotions I had when I woke up this morning were overwhelming as I thought about how full circle life can be. To have my son turn 17, the same age I was when he was born, well, it's just insane.
It's been such a journey and I'm so grateful to have such an amazing and strong bond with my boy!