In the final part of her story, Emery shares about the process of her open adoption– both the difficulties and joys, and how she came to find healing. Emery also shares about where she is now in her life, and the dynamics of her relationship with her son.
“Acknowledging that it was really hard was good, because it’s not an easy process. I think that was really good, and for a while crying myself to sleep. I was kind of a kid still so hugging a teddy bear and sleeping with that , as sort of a pseudo baby– what I was missing– was good. I went to a counsellor, just to talk things out, then they knew what questions to ask and it would draw stuff out of me so that was really helpful. Knowing and really feeling that this is what God had planned for me to do, and this was the best for the child and putting myself second, and making sure that he was my priority and constantly thinking about his well-being, not just mine, was really helpful and important for me to focus on. And just knowing that God was with me, and He said He would never leave me.
Looking back, I’m so glad I did it, and not just for my own benefit, because it allowed me to move on and have a family, and children now, but also for him. He is thriving in his family life with his siblings so I get to see the benefit for him and what a great thing to see him grow up , even a little bit from afar, so it’s been really good.
So now I see what I did give up and what I have now, and it’s really challenging being a parent, with consistency, and discipline and energy , there so much more involved than I really ever imagined. And it made me more grateful for doing an adoption at that time, just how hard it would have been for me. And now he gets to see my daughter grow up too, and just seeing them interact as siblings when they are one their own, because he comes to visit, thankfully his parents have allowed him to come on his own with my mom. Just seeing them bond is really neat and exciting to see as they get older together too.”