In Part 3 of Emery’s story, she talks about the process of her open adoption: how it happened, and the emotions she felt through it. Emery reflects on a promise given to her by her son’s adoptive parents that still makes her cry. Be sure to catch up on Emery’s story by watching Part 1 and Part 2 on the blog.
“Since that was out of the picture, I went to the next two things on my list, considering the decisions I would have to make– either mothering the child or doing adoption. So we made a pros and cons list of what would be the good things and what would be the really hard things. I ended up going towards the idea of adoption and I researched that a bit more and saw the whole spectrum of what that could mean, and then I met with an adoption agent, and she brought in two huge five-inch binders of families that wanted children but couldn’t have any. So I started praying, “if this is what you want me to do Lord, I think I can do it”. I really believed that this would be the right option for the child. Then I started looking at open adoption, which has a big range within itself in terms of what that can mean for birth parents and adoptive parents and what you agree on.
I just knew [what family to pick]. They asked about me, and what my future looked like, or what I wanted it to look like and where I wanted to go to school. It was not just about what they were getting out of the relationship. We started building a relationship from there which really meant a lot to me. They communicated with me all the time over email because we were a couple hours away. They would send me flowers, they bought me a promise ring, to say that they would just love me and love their son…that was really good.
I haven’t worn that ring in a while, that part always makes me cry just thinking of their promise of doing that, that was 12 years ago.”