We told my parents. Their fears were amplified by my fears. We were high school sweethearts. In college, Michelle became pregnant. Emotions ran high, fear built on fear, and so much was on the line. After some discussion, Michelle had an abortion. After many years, we reflect back on that decision and how we ultimately found healing.
Michelle: We met in Heart Lake Brampton, in Heart Lake Secondary school. Both of us did not grow up in a Christian home. I grew up with my brother and my 2 parents – hardworking parents, who came to this country to provide for their kids and wanted something different for their children. Andre was in college and I was in university and then maybe I would say going through my university years I found out that I was pregnant in my 3rd year of university.
Andre: My first thought when I found out she was pregnant is panic; “What are you going to do?” “What are we going to do?” And at that time I thought I was too young to have a baby because again I was aimless, I was playing basketball and having fun just existing. And Michelle was the opposite, she was in school studying hard and getting good grades and I didn’t want her to ruin all she had worked for.
Michelle: When we told my parents about the pregnancy, their fears were amplified by my own fears; they were disappointed in both of us.
Andre: Their reaction to the news was not very supportive at all. We were met with harsh words and criticism.
Michelle: I think at that moment I had to do something about the situation because everybody was hurting, and I guess I just ‘pushed down’ my feelings for the support of Andre and that child to think that I can’t have that child because it’s creating too much trouble right now. I think I decided to have an abortion after that initial meeting with my parents, as much as I had Andre’s support still I just felt that I needed to do something about the situation so I thought abortion was basically my only choice because all this was so much for everybody and so I kinda of pushed forth with this is what I am going to go. My thinking turned to ‘what the world said –basically this is my choice, this is my body.’ And I basically blocked out Andre’s support and that child and went forward with having an abortion. I think you try not to feel anything basically, you’re kinda like a robot with no emotions, and you try to get through that day but it was heartache.
Andre: She was given the answer from her parents about what to do and she listened to them but I was angry, very angry and resentful towards her parents because I felt that they robbed me of my first-born child.
Michelle: The same year I had my abortion, Andre also came to Christ. So seeing him just change his behavior showed me love. I think his example of love, the love of Christ, he gave that to me considering all that we’ve been through. So seeing his life turn over to Christ, that brought us together. Today I think my journey is basically redemption, redeeming love; Christ came into our mess and helped us to now have a message. Now I know my purpose in life, He never wanted me to go down that road of abortion but He was able to come in love us and redeem our lives. We have 4 beautiful kids, Josiah who is 15 and in high school, Jenya who is 13 in Grade 7, and Micaya is 11 and in Grade 6 and Isaiah is 10 and he is in Grade 5. It’s such as blessing to watch them grow and grow in a Christian home, I think that’s what I love the most; is the foundation that we didn’t have growing up, we get to build that foundation with our kids right now, not perfectly but we get to pour into them all that Christ has poured into us. I want people to know that Christ is real and that He can take all our brokenness and make something beautiful out of it, and that He wants us healed, He wants the body of Christ healed so that we can go out and help other people whether it’s an abortion or an addiction, anything that people are struggling with. Christ calls us as believers to go out and help other people through their tragedies and their hopelessness. What I thought that I could never tell anybody that happened to me, now I use it to bring Him glory because it’s not about us, it is all about God and how He came into our lives and restored all things.